Broome Broome Broome or Another Bunch of Firsts (Week 2)

(2 September – 9 September)

One of the more interesting features in the town centre is the Sun Pictures open-air cinema which opened in 1916 and is the longest running cinema of its kind in the world, a marvellous venue to experience the silver screen with a handful of disused old-world projectors on display.

The seating, mainly deck chairs and some benches, has only a few rows under cover with the majority under the skies. The big tip here is to bring your mozzie spray!

Another aspect of the town centre is that most of the buildings are no more than glorified sheds of corrugated tin, even those selling pearls – quite a contrast to their respective retail outlets in Sydney or Melbourne.

An event as part of the Shinju Matsuri was the speedway racing with a variety of racing on the agenda including super saloons, quad bikes, speedway racers, road cars, and juniors. Most viewers had reversed their utes towards the safety fence and plonked themselves in seats on the ute tray. We dragged our camping chairs between the utes and the fence and ‘enjoyed’ countless mouthfuls of dust and dried mud spat out from under the tyres as the cars sped past doing power slides. This, plus the incredible noise and pungent smells of burning nitro made for an early exit as we only lasted about half an hour – the tribe were so excited about going, yet the reality was nothing like they expected thanks to their knowledge of motor racing being that of the movie ‘Cars’.

One thing you have to do at Cable Beach is a camel ride, which was another of these things that excited the tribe a lot until we actually got up close to the camels. They were so up for it, yet when it was time to climb onto the camel’s backs, the tribe were having none of it. After some quick coaxing, and amidst the tears of fright, we got all of them up, with M and the boys riding ‘Connor’ while the girls and I rode ‘Lazee Daisy’.

Once we were up and plodding along the beach, the tribe were in their element – the initial fears subsided soon after the jerky rise from the camel’s knees. So for half an hour, we rode about Cable Beach like Lawrence of Arabia, admiring the views of each other, the long shadows from the late afternoon sun, while M admired the view of the male nudist sunbather.

The Shinju Matsuri closing ceremony took place at Cable Beach in an amphitheatre-like setting above the beach. Again we were entertained by some of the folks who performed at the opening – some of the dancers and the like. Also we got to see Sammy the Chinese Dragon again as he farewelled the crowd until next year’s festival.

The feature of the evening including the fireworks included a performance by a group of Indian musicians accompanied by a didgeridoo followed by Dan Sultan and his Band. The former provided some wonderful grooves punctuated by some sonorous tones from the didge. Dan Sultan belted out some of his stomping rock ‘n’ roll, yet nothing actually bettered his rendition of ‘Nyul Nyul Girl’ from the film Bran Nue Dae, shot on location on the West Coast and around Broome.

So another bunch of ‘firsts’ for the tribe as it was their first concert and might I say, Dan Sultan is not too bad a choice as the first concert – I’m sure it would rate well with the Espy audience on Rockwiz!

Another first was their baptism of seeing fireworks (not on TV) that closed the festival, the dark sky over north Cable Beach lit up by the floral bursts of multi-coloured lights that brought lots of “ooohs” and “ahhhhs” from the crowd.

And how did the tribe handle all these ‘firsts’? Well, with Dan Sultan, the girls did a lot of dancing to the boogie stomp until Saffiya got a little too self-conscious that people were watching her. As for the fireworks, they just couldn’t get enough as they were calling for more long after the end of the damn fine display. The camels, well the jury is still our on whether the tribe would like some as pets. Lastly, the speedway action – fine as long as you are Kaydin and not close enough to hear the noise, smell the exhaust and get hit by flying dirt spray!

Broome Broome Broome or A Bunch of Firsts (Week 1)

(26 August – 1 September)

Broome. Well, here we are for a fortnight and timely too for it is their Shinju Matsuri – the Festival of the Pearl. Running over ten days, we enjoy the festival at the opening and closing and parts in between. But first, what is Broome like, you ask.

After our drive from the NT it is a welcome stop – a town by the coast with the famous Cable Beach, a place not too big and not too small, with enough on offer to keep you interested and engaged for at least a week, if not more.

Much is written about its history, from the days it rode on the back of the pearl and mother of pearl, an industry that was responsible for 80% of the world’s button production and cutlery handles until plastics became mass produced. The bombing by the Japanese in WWII devastated the community – ironic in that the Japanese were significant in originally developing the pearling industry. And now, it is still the centre of Australian pearl interests (think Paspaley, Willie Creek, etc) yet tourism per se is now key with Broome being a base for travels around the Kimberley and the Dampier Peninsular. It’s a sizeable town 100s of km from any other decent sized town. Yet it must be the only place in the world where you can walk from an international airport to the centre of town in 10 minutes.

And of course, Cable Beach – the beautiful pristine fine white sands that go on forever and turquoise waters is a site that will always be easy on the eyes. The only thing it isn’t, is easy on your pocket if you were looking to buy property as the median price for a house is well above that of Sydney.

Not long after setting up camp in the caravan park did we experience our first meeting with a frill-necked lizard. It (for we don’t know how to tell gender) didn’t get its frills out however it did its funny run on its hind legs, head held high in the air with the frills flopping back like a horse’s mane and its small forearms dangling by the sides. It climbed a jacaranda and tried to camouflage itself on the tree trunk.

We were timely also to be able to see the ‘Staircase to the Moon’ phenomenon where the rising moon’s reflections at night over the tidal flats of Roebuck Bay create a staircase like imagery – something that occurs with the combination of the full moon a few evenings a month with a low tide only between May and October. Also, with the low tide, we were fortunate to be able to find dinosaur footprints in the rocks below Gantheaume Point – although the first morning we seeked and failed to see them as there are no signposts directing your way – you just have to clamber the rocky foreshores in the hope you chance upon them.

For the tribe, it was their ‘first’ experience of a moonrise at night, plus a first in seeing dinosaur footprints. The latter was first for M and I too!

The festival’s opening takes place on the oval behind the information centre, and is comprised of entertainment from local community groups and performers, some of whom had partaken earlier in the street parade. The community spirit is strong with the audience of locals and tourists alike enjoying and showing huge support for the performers.

The tribe met Postman Pat and Spot the Dog as well as marvelling at ‘Sammy’ the (Chinese) Dragon who is the mascot for the festival. While Postman Pat and Spot were friendly, Sammy was a little too loud (banging drums and symbols) and scary-looking – but the tribe were cool with that.

They shook their tooshes to the music on offer, as well as marvelling at the dancing – the traditional Indonesian dances were of particular interest for Saffiya and Soraya as well as those performed by the local dance schools.

The Town Beach playground and waterpark is big hit for the tribe as is Cable Beach with its wide stretches of sand and shallow water – a perfect combo for the tribe to run amok, mucking about in the water and making muddy pies.

As a change from the norm of being chauffeured about in the car, the tribe also took a couple of bus trips about town – such a simple yet highly enjoyable novelty for them. Also, they took in the story time and craft activities at the local library, making a donkey the first week and a sheep in the second week. (A good tip here is that the library also has a small and limited range of books to swap instead of borrow).

A special treat for the tribe was a visit to the cinema to see ‘Toy Story 3’ – a first time experience in the cinema for Kaydin and Zak. Initially they complained at the loudness of the sound, but were soon settled into the film and the enjoyment the big screen brings. Afterwards, they exclaimed to M that they saw the movie on a “really big TV!”.

Another first for us was an attempt at fishing from the jetty – we could see some big fish around the pier posts and we got a good nibble on Soraya’s and Zak’s lines to the extent we lost the hooks (and of course the bait). One of the locals fishing was using a mud crab as bait to catch whatever was big enough to gobble that. Mainly, there was to be family-dinner sized catches of barramundi

The markets at the old court house were fun with the usual array of gifts, knick-knacks and food – but more so for the entertainment by the couple who juggled and performed acrobatics with a healthy does of comedy thrown in. The tribe were a little frightened of the fire juggling, but were in awe of the overall performance.

Our Amazon and the inland reef

(21-24 August)

The massive floodplain that is the Fitzroy would be an impressive sight at the height of the wet season, where the river extends up to 40km wide and the volume of water through Fitzroy Crossing is second to that of the Amazon, being able to fill Sydney Harbour in five hours. Alas, we’re here in the dry season and good reason too as we would not be able to drive around much of the Kimberleys.

The Fitzroy River Lodge, on the eastern banks of the Fitzroy River is an inviting oasis along our drive along the edge of the Kimberleys. And after three days of solid driving (around 1200kms) since leaving Katherine, we feel like a break – and we owe it the tribe after all that time cooped up in our car.

Nearby is Geikie Gorge, one of three reef gorges (the other two being Tunnel Creek and Windjana Gorge, accessible from the Gibb River Road) - created during the Devonian period (the age of the fishes) when much of the far north west of Australia was a coral reef within an inland sea.

We take a fascinating cruise down the Fitzroy through the gorge, enchanted by the ranger’s commentary, full of interesting information covering the geology, ecology and history of Geikie Gorge. The tribe get to spot some freshwater crocodiles, some brolga and whistling kites but alas, no sawfish or stingrays which are reported to breed in the river. Any alteration to the ecology of the river will affect the breeding capabilities of the sawfish and stingrays to the extent they would head down the path of extinction such is their current fragility.

The cruise commentary described the devastating affect of the cane toad – where it takes a generation or two of the local native animal to realise not to eat the toad. The fact is around 80% of the annual freshwater crocodile birthrate is decimated by natural causes in addition to the cane toad effect. So far, there are no toads around the Geikie Gorge, however it won’t be long. There are swathes of native flora being strangled by the South American passionfruit vines.

The temperature is already in the high 30s and it’s only the mid-morning when the cruise ends so we opt to return for a walk alongside the reef cliffs the next morning. When we do return the next day, it’s very warm and the tribe get a bit annoyed that we end up taking a longer walk - just an extension to the short walk we set off on. We don’t complete the walk as it’s too hot and the walk, while level is not easy in sand for small feet.

During our stay at the Fitzroy River Lodge, we take to the pool a couple of times a day to cool off – the pool is set amongst trees and shade and is amazingly cold despite the surrounding ambient temperature. A real pleasure and wonderful way to relax in the heat.

Derby is our final port of call before our long scheduled stay in Broome. Located on King Sound, it is also the start/finish for the Gibb River Road, and a base to see the Buccaneer Archipelago. Reported to have the highest tidal range in Australia – in the region of around 11 metres, we only see the mudflats, so we are obviously only wandering about when the tide is out.

I wonder about some of the property overlooking the mudflats – sold on the days when the tide was in to maximise the “waterview” spiel perhaps?

We spend the afternoon at the local pool, which has a great little water park and gym-exercise area, where the tribe run amok and the girls develop their confidence in dunking their heads underwater, holding their breath. Later, we enjoy a spectacular sunset from the jetty, where locals and travellers were casting lines for their dinner. A barra perhaps?

Just outside of town is a prison boab tree – a reminder of the cruelties of the colonists, and now a sacred indigenous site.

Further out and along the Gibb River Road (the part that is still tarmac), we visit the Mowanjum Cultural Centre to view the local arts and crafts – the paintings were mainly of Wandjina the supreme spirit, while there were some fine examples of boab nut carvings. The centre itself offers gallery space and workshops, is an impressive building which has been unfortunately unfinished due to the builders disappearing before completion.

Farewell NT, Hello WA

(19 – 21 August 2010)

After a final dip at the hot springs at Katherine, the next phase of our trip takes us west towards the Western Australia border and another time zone. We stock up on food before leaving Katherine then later refuel at Timber Creek where we are introduced to the boab tree. Strangely, while the town is reported to have the most eastern location for the boab we quietly suspect that boabs were planted within the immediate 10km west of town as there is a good concentration here then not a single boab to be seen from the road – nada, zilch, nothing for some distance – but hey, it could be just nature up to its old tricks.

Nevertheless, the tribe think the boab look strange, or funny. Or as Billy says in ‘Are we there yet?’ – “It’s an upside down tree”!*

Being surprised by our progress despite our leisurely start to the day, we end up at Saddle Creek for the night, just 70kms from the border so we stuff ourselves silly on fruit and vegies which can’t be taken over the border due to quarantine restrictions. In the end, we are unable to eat all the fruit and vegies (and honey) so we donate/offer/give away to fellow travellers heading east.

Arriving at the border early the next morning, we stop at the quarantine for a short check on our car and camper-trailer. Questioned on whether we had any fruit, vegetables, honey, flowers, seeds and sticks, we hand in our manuka honey and dump an apple core.

Kununurra, the first town we hit, is a bustling town just 35km from the border – and the Coles looks like it does a roaring trade in fruit, vegetables and honey for those coming over the border like us. There’s not much to write home about apart from Hidden Valley in Mirima NP. Sure the town or nearby featured somewhat in Baz Luhrman’s ‘Australia’, there is the Ord River Project and Lake Argyle. It’s a good spot to refuel and stock up for the Gibb River Road (a 4WD track that travels through the Kimberleys towards Derby and shaves some 300km off the tarmac route, yet takes quite a few days longer), a place to organise flights to the Bungle Bungles, etc.

We grab some food and head to Hidden Valley to see the ‘mini’ Bungle Bungles, as the real thing is only accessible either by tour or by 4WD, neither of which are on our agenda. The stratified rock formations of ‘beehive-like’ mounds are of interest in the sense of how weird and why here? And why the distance to the Bungle Bungles and nothing like these between? Geology and landforms are a mind-boggling thing.

Heading along the Great Northern Highway, we pass by the King Leopold Range (a little connection to Belgium) to the west beyond Warmum (Turkey Creek) where I get flagged down for a breathalyser test. The first after 10,000km of driving!

Part of the area around Warmum is named ‘Violet Valley’, and by quirk of timing, we drive by as we head into the sunset hour whose fading soft light provides a violet hue across the vista. Our stop for the night was a little further at Spring Creek – a glorified caravan parking lot for those heading to the Bungle Bungles as caravans are banned on the dirt track into that NP.

Another refuel, this time at Halls Creek, the next morning – the town buzzing with life as locals head to the polls for the federal election and travellers refuel or stop for a snack. The town, much like a few others along the Great Northern Highway seem purely to exist to service the surrounding aboriginal communities and provide refuelling opportunities for travellers.

A further 100km from Halls Creek is the Mary Pool rest area where we stop for lunch. It is a large shady area with many camp spots nearby the Mary River and despite the croc warning by the river, the setting is inviting enough for us to momentarily consider this an over night stop. However, we changed our minds on two counts: one, we hadn’t driven far that day, and two, the wandering cattle (bulls included) could be a problem when they venture between your site and the toilets. So we nix this and head onto Fitzroy Crossing.

* 'Are we there yet?' is a kids book based upon the three-month trip around Oz by the writer's family where featured locations and experiences seem to be a coomon theme for us.

Where the crocs are punctual

(17-18 August 2010)

Arriving mid-morning at Edith Falls (Leilyn), we immediately don our cozzies and head for the famed swimming hole. Ahhh, what joy! Very cool waters to soothe the hot tribe – and what’s more, easier access into the water than at Florence Falls (Litchfield NP) which makes things more enjoyable for the tribe. The tribe take turns with the swimming rings and gain confidence in venturing in for a paddle.

Such a beautiful setting, we have a picnic lunch near the water and decide to stay the night in the adjacent camp grounds. This time, despite being a NP, we are allocated a site with an unfortunate lack of shade unlike our previous experiences at other NPs. We do however make use of any shade nearby to escape the searing sun. It appears that most sites at the park lack any decent shade.



Afternoon already, so another swim – so refreshing! I ponder the walk to the Upper Pool but decide to venture at sunrise when it is a lot cooler. One of the park rangers provides a show and tell in the evening which was hugely informative – explaining the changing ecology of the park due to differing grass types affecting insect-life and thus bird and reptile life. Also, the impact of cane toads and their devastation of native animals who don’t know better: within the first year, the numbers of freshwater crocs, water monitors and frilled-neck lizards are decimated until they learn that cane toads are a lousy food item to have on the menu.

Also interesting is apparently, most snakes can swim and those in the park are generally on the ‘harmless’ scale – M mentioned that she thought a snake passed her when she swam in the pool.

An explanation as to the park’s name – Nitmiluk (which also covers Katherine Gorge) is that nitmi is the local name for ‘cicada’, and luk is ‘place of’. However, being winter, the cicadas are very quiet – thankfully.

The sunrise walk to the Upper Pool was a great way to start the day – the cool air before the sun peaked over the distant ridges made the ascent comfortable. There were a great range of native flora, and most peculiar is the kapok or crocodile flower – where local aboriginals observe when the plant shows fruit it coincides with the egg-laying of the crocodiles, and when the fruit ripens and bursts, then the eggs have hatched.

At the Upper Pool, I am greeted by solitary egret, taking slow measured steps seeking food in the waters. On my return crossing the creek that runs from the swimming hole at the falls, the forest was deafening with birdlife – mostly unseen apart from the quick crimson finch.

On the display board along the footpath leading to the swimming hole, there is vast information on the animals and vegetation to the area. Dependent on time of year, this is the home to a variety of snakes and pythons, water monitors, birds and of course fish. We spot one of the grunters, archer (or rifle) fish, and catfish who all swim near us. Also, on the sign is a request (or warning) to not swim in at night as it is the time when crocs feed.

Glad to know they don’t take leisurely dip in the middle of the day to cool themselves.

The Kakadu Bloodbath

(15-16 August 2010)





So we leave Darwin to do Kakadu. After all, why travel all this way and bypass one of the great national parks in Australia? First, though, we stop at the Window on the Wetlands Centre and through their interpretive display, the tribe learns about life in the wetlands. They were especially taken by the crocodile display amongst others. The view from the centre’s commanding hilltop location offers a vista over the Adelaide River floodplains, and was impressive in the scope of what you could see (though only later to be outdone at Ubirr).

The Merle campground (over 100km into Kakadu NP and off the Arnhem Highway) is our destination for the evening, located very near Ubirr which is our first port of call the next morning. After some consistently hot days in Darwin, we experience the first of the hotter spell we endure for the following week or so.

As we drove around the campground to choose our site for the night, we were impressed by the size of the lots, and the facilities (hot and cold showers!, a rare thing in national parks). Looking forward to our first night in Kakadu, we set up camp and ready for dinner, only to get a hint of the mozzies. I barbeque, while everyone stays indoors in our mobile sauna, formerly an average camper trailer.

In the end, dinner was cooked and eaten. I wash up outside while swatting mozzies with the soapy sponge or plate or cup or knife or whatever I had in hand, while dancing around to avoid the mozzies landing on me. Meanwhile I hear shouts of “there’s one” and “there’s another one” by the tribe as M swats the rampant mozzies baying for blood.

When we bunker down for the night, we are already discussing that we will be shortening our planned stay in Kakadu, as hoards of the mozzies create a buzzing din outside our fly screened windows, salivating at the prospect of getting a feast on six ripe red-blooded bodies.

M and I kill as many of the mozzies as possible before bedding the tribe, and do the same again in the middle of the night, a sleep occasionally interrupted by the BUZZ outside the windows. Many of the kills inside our camper show evidence of drunken mozzies – a bloodbath on our walls.

In the morning, there are still hoards buzzing outside the windows – just those unlucky ones that didn’t make their way inside, still salivating for blood! So, without pausing for breakfast, we pack quickly and grab some good coffee and average muffins en route to Ubirr – to see some beautiful and amazing Aboriginal Rock Art. This was a highlight and worth the hassle of the night before, however, it hadn’t changed our minds about staying anymore nights in the park. Especially, the story we heard from Emma and Simon whom we met at Litchfield. They, too, had ‘locked’ themselves in their camper by sunset due to the bloodsuckers.

However, like I said, Ubirr was a stupendous experience for all. The depictions of dreamtime, the animals and fish on the rock walls, and age of these works are mesmerizing. The stories they tell are wonderful – the original graffiti – messages left for generations to follow. Then the WOW factor hit as you climbed Ubirr Rock. The view from the top over the Nadab floodplain was breathtakingly beautiful as your eyes feast on some of the most luscious green lands you will ever see. And only then do you begin to see just how special the land is to the locals and how enmeshed life is with nature and her cycles.

Lunch at Jabiru by the lake, was a round of pies and quiches – the buffalo pie was too salty and peppery, the meat pies were just that, the mixed vegie quiche was good, while the spinach and feta quiche was better. This time though, the tribe weren’t so taken with the pies. The interesting thing about the lake park was there you are eating lunch under the shaded picnic benches just metres away from the croc warning sign – who’s having lunch eh?

Continuing our drive out the park, we stop briefly at Nourlangie as I take a brisk walk viewing more rock art in the Anbangbang Gallery, this time the theme is more spiritual with a fantastic ‘mural’ of a corroboree. The tribe stay in the car for a snooze – a good option as it’s damn hot and humid.

Further along the Kakadu Highway, we stop at the Warradjan Aboriginal Cultural Centre which has a well laid-out interpretative display of life and culture in the Kakadu region – about the animals, the art, the food and the cycle that is the six seasons.

Nearby is Yellow Water Wetlands (near Cooinda), part of the South Alligator River floodplain, where I have another brief Kodak stop along the boardwalk while the tribe enjoy the air-conditioned comfort in the car. Yellow Water is a large wetland filled with birdlife and crocs, of which I see some of the former and none of the latter – more likely to see crocs from one of the boat cruises.

After Yellow Water, and vague suggestion to stay at Cooinda or nearby . . . we continue with our plan to head out the park, eventually reaching Harriet Creek some 32km outside the park – a distance we think is safely away from the bloodsuckers of Kakadu.

And as we settle down for the evening, guess what?

No mozzies!

Darwinism and Friday the 13th!

(11-14 August 2010)

Finally we reach Darwin – as far north as we plan to get on this trip. The vastness of suburban Darwin is similar to Sydney but on a smaller scale – it’s just the lack of high rise that likens it to a lop-sided fried egg, the yolk the city, the white the ‘burbs.

We visit the Northern Territory Museum and Art Gallery which has displays of local fauna, and one in particular infamous croc called ‘Sweetheart’ which measures five metres. Also there is an exhibit devoted to Cyclone Tracy, the storm that devastated Darwin at Christmas in 1974, which included a sound room with the actual recording of the storm – Zak was particularly intrigued with the room as it was dark, but the HOWL was truly frightening, so we didn’t go in.

The museum’s excellent Children’s Room was a bonus – with displays of snakes, birds, and one huge sea sponge, as well as an activity room, the tribe enjoyed the dressing up, games and puzzles. There was even a microscope to check out minerals in rock samples.

After the museum, M took Saffiya for a walk to Mindil Beach where they met some local beach residents.

On our first morning in Darwin, we head for the lagoon in the wharf precinct – where there is a wave machine and you can pass the time lounging in one of the huge blow-up rings or attempt to paddle a body board. The tribe got thrills on the body board – their first time, as they juggled the concept of holding on, keeping their bodyweight far enough back to lift the nose and not take mouthfuls of water as they shrieked and laughed at the fun.

Given that it was Thursday, we head to the Mindil Beach Sunset Markets – and how popular is the markets? Damn crowded, packed with locals and visitors, all vying a taste or few from the myriad food stalls, as well as seeking a souvenir of sorts from one of the gift stalls, or be entertained by various musicians/ bands/ performers. M came away with a beautiful red necklace and I bought a pair of fisherman pants.

The tribe were too mesmerised by the crowds and the scenes that surrounded them as well as the fire-playing entertainer to concern themselves too much with the food on offer, hence the need to snack on breakfast cereal on our return to camp later that evening.

Friday the 13th! And it certainly was a black Friday for Kaydin, Zak and Soraya as we had booked them for their 4 year immunisation. Soraya was first and she screamed a little but after the needles were done, and the tears only lasted a short time. Kaydin, bravely took the first needle in his stride, until it was withdrawn, then he cried. And Zak, screamed his best ear-piercing scream, kicking the doctor in the vain hope of avoiding the needles. In the end, the trio were immunised and they were fine after the event.

Their treat for the pain of immunisation was an afternoon trip to shops to spend their birthday money they received from Mamita – a successful trip with an assortment of toys, DVDs and clothes all chosen by them.

Following Friday is obviously Saturday, so off to markets again! This time to the Parrup Markets, smaller and village-like than the Mindil Beach Sunset Markets although with some of the same stalls. The village shopping centre was a little bit of old Paddington with its small art galleries, cafés and fashion boutiques. After the markets, we headed off to Alexandra Lake for a picnic and a dip to cool off.

Later in the evening, as a belated treat, we go out for dinner at the local tavern, adjacent to the caravan park. The dinner is to celebrate the trio’s birthday as we didn’t make the opportunity at the time in Katherine. The bonus was that the tavern also had a mini-playground – an essential necessity when taking 4 kids to dinner.

Mind you, we quickly learnt where we were when I ordered a round of drinks (juices for the tribe, natch), as the barmaid asked me after viewing the spirits shelves,

“Shiraz is a wine isn’t it?”

Me, “umm, yeah, it’s a red wine”

“Oh, I know, it’s one of our house wines”, as she looks into the fridge at the 15-litre cask of shiraz.

Glad to see it came in casks and not in 15ml measures! As for the quality? Best not to ask.